In eighth grade, I had a phenomenal English teacher Ms. Brzdek. Ms. Brzdek lit a fire in me for the English language and literature that would carry me into my college years and beyond. Although I was a very good student, I was also what she affectionately nicknamed me the class “social butterfly”. I wanted to listen to what was going on with everyone, (over)share my thoughts and opinions, and could flit from clique to clique with a blink of an eye. Under her guidance, I started writing my first book.
In college, I had another incredible professor and mentor who encouraged my writing and helped me finish that book. He also referred to be as a social butterfly and a helper bee. I relished being called that…
Over the years, I continued being a social butterfly and what I hoped also a helper bee.
Then a few months ago, little by little my personal sharing started to trickle down from a loud roar to a soft tap. I stopped over-sharing. Heck I stopped sharing anything of significance. However, I did share things like what my sons’ were up to academically and their participation of sports (my family enjoyed that and it kept them in the know), opportunity and event suggestions (that came across my “desk”) for family and friends, restaurants I liked, etc. I shared my White House SOTU experience.
These were all superficial things just to keep my personal online presence active. As always, I commented on friends, family, and colleague’s activity. It was time consuming but I wanted to show I genuinely cared about their comings and goings. I didn’t share all of the BIG things that were happening behind the scenes and how my life was now in a state of self-reinvention. I felt like the few that truly cared about me knew what was going on, they supported me, and proved to be invaluable during this time of reinvention. Some people even remarked that since I rarely shared client news anymore that I wasn’t succeeding in my career. Nope, I just wasn’t sharing it anymore.
This started online and then it crept onto my IRL relationships as well. I became a listener and barely divulged anything but pleasantries. It came to be such a way with some that they thought nothing was going on with me and that life was unicorns and fairy dust. They had problems…they were so busy…and I didn’t so I wouldn’t understand. Since I didn’t share, of course I had no problems at all. Right?
I’ve been extremely fortunate in life. Family, friends, health (for the most part), home, travel…one of my favorite sayings is that I’m too blessed to be stressed. Some incredible things happened for me but my life hasn’t been a crystal stair.
I was just sick of sharing.
Specifically sharing things that were personal to my soul and to my spirit to those that I felt didn’t appreciate it or get it or even care.
There I said it: There are people in my life that aren’t always in my corner…people that like a miserable me rather than the woman on the come-up. These people are “family” and “friends” and that aren’t really here for me. Or those that used me. I was used more often than I want to admit in recent months. I’m too nice for my own good. Too giving.
It was a tough pill to swallow.
Last week while on vacation in St. Thomas, I deleted my personal Facebook account. I don’t know if it was Facebook’s algorithm but it just seemed like the same people that liked and commented were the ones I interacted with the most off of Facebook. Why was I sharing with nearly a thousand people on my Friends list (and maybe 20% who saw my posts) intimate thoughts or even the most superficial of posts? Was I wasting words?
Words I should be using to finish my book.
Plus, Facebook is a major timesuck for me. Since I manage my clients’ social media, I am always ON. This was one less thing to manage. I could concentrate on re-building my IRL relationships and show people again that I was human. That I DO stress. That I DO feel. That again life for me hasn’t and isn’t a crystal stair.
I may return to my personal Facebook and Instagram accounts (which I also deleted) but for now I’m not sharing except of course on GET FIT DIVA. Bring on the weight-loss and fitness goals! The food porn! The fashionnnnnn! I’m writing more. I’m journaling. I’m working on that book (twelve year old me will be happy to know this). I’m working on my fashion designs. I’m making my family happy. My clients happy. And most importantly, myself happy.
Exactly. Until I find that happy medium again..that balance…that’s when I’ll go back to sharing again.
How much is too much sharing online? Have you ever taken a social hiatus?
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